I May Fall
by TheVampyNeko
Summary: (This is a future AU where Keith is a girl.) Five years have past for our paladins and with that time many things have changed, some for better and some for worse. Keith is once more leader of Voltron and now she struggles more than ever. Thankfully she has friends to help her through these struggles. That is, if she'll let them. Can Keith stand against her fears or will she fall?


Keith woke up screaming. Again. This made the fourth night in a row that Keith had woken up this way.

As the panic from the nightmare began to drift away Keith glanced at the empty spot next to her. She let out a sigh as she threw the covers off and climbed out of bed making her way to the showers to wash off the sweat and anxiety the nightmare had left behind. After that she'd go to the training deck and train until everyone woke up.

Keith was headed to the training room, just passing the lounge, when a voice rang out.

"Up kinda early ain't ya?" The sudden noise startled Keith and she nearly tripped. She walked into the room to find the source of the voice and found Pidge sitting cross-legged on one of the couches with her laptop on her lap. She was still in her pajamas with her hair pulled up into a ponytail at the side of her head. She didn't look up from whatever she was doing as Keith walked over to her.

"I could say the same to you." Keith answered and she saw the younger girl smirk. "I couldn't sleep." Keith admitted. "Thought I'd get some training in since I'm up."

Pidge looked up at Keith and examined her face. Pidge was smart. There was no doubt she could tell Keith was hiding her nightmare problem. This wasn't the first time she'd been plagued by them. "Cool." Was all she said as she started typing away on her laptop again.

Keith was glade she let it go, for now, but if these nightmares didn't stop soon Pidge would say something to the others. That was last thing Keith wanted. If the others knew then they'd worry and she didn't want everyone to worry about her. She refused to be what caused her team to hurt. Never again.

"So, what are you doing up Pidge?" Keith asked.

"Oh." Pidge leaned back, raised her arms and stretched. "Matt called about an hour ago." She yawned. Keith perked up at that.

"And?" Keith asked. "What did he want? Are they okay? Did something happen?"

"Chill dude. Everything is alright. The nerd just wanted to tell me about some really weird fruit he found." Of course that would be what Matt called about, not to say they were coming home early.

The paladins had received a call for assistance in escorting an alien diplomat home. It was a fairly simple mission but it was also a pretty far distance away. There saw no point in all five paladins going in case someone else needed them, so they sent Lance since the red lion was the fastest. Matt went along also for backup. That was almost a week ago. The trip was estimated to take at least two to three and Keith didn't like the idea of the team being split that long.

"He did mention that they'd be traveling through and area of space with loads of electromagnetic energy so communication them will be a no go for awhile." No communication? Keith did not like the sound of that. What if something happened to Lance and Matt while they had no contact? How would they get help if they needed it? Now Keith was even more worried then she was before.

"Oh yeah! He said that Lance is gonna call when he gets a chance. He's apparently very busy right now, but he wants to talk to you before they lose communications." That's what Keith needed to hear. Lance was okay and he'd call her soon. She couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks Pidge. I'm going to go train now."

"Later." With a short wave goodbye Pidge was back to typing away on her laptop and Keith was off to train.

It wasn't long before everyone in the castle was awake and doing their day to day routines. Hunk was in the kitchen experimenting with the newest foods he'd found and Pidge was now working on the castle's main computer while Coran was doing...whatever it is Coran does. Keith was still training when Allura came in. She looked worried as she glanced around the room. Keith stopped the training simulation and walked over to the princess.

"Everything alright Allura?" Keith asked as she used her shirt to wipe sweat from her forehead.

"Not really I'm afraid." The Altean looked more mature now then she had when Keith first met her. Maybe it was the short hair? "Mera isn't in here is she?"

"No." That's what it was. Mera. Keith remembered Lance saying something once about how women seem to age when they have kids. She hoped he was joking cause if he was serious then Keith was never having kids.

"I was afraid of that." Keith could see the panic starting to rise in Allura's eyes. "Keith, I've looked everywhere I could think of and I can't find her. I'm worried. What if she's not on the castle!"

Placing her hands on Alluras shoulders Keith spoke calmly. "I'm sure she's fine Allura. She's here somewhere don't panic. We'll find her." Allura nodded and the two started searching the castle after enlisting the help of everyone else.

Before too long they found the three year old in her playroom playing with her toys. Turns out she'd been there the whole time. Allura apologized for getting so worked up and worrying everyone and soon everyone was back doing their own thing. Except Keith. She sat on her bed staring at the wall. She was exhausted from lack of sleep but refused to lay down. If she fell asleep she'd just have another nightmare. She needed to stay awake. She needed something to distract her.

"Paladins to your lions!" Coran's voice came booming over the speakers and Keith was out the door before he'd finished. This was exactly what Keith needed right now. A fight would make a great distraction.

The next day was a lot worse then the previous one. Instead of sleeping Keith decided it would probably be better to just stay awake all night. If she didn't sleep she wouldn't dream. And if she didn't dream she wouldn't have to face _him._

So Keith stayed up all night playing Lances video game, which was actually a lot more fun then she expected. She wasn't sure what time it was but it must have been morning cause there was a small knock at the door. Pausing the game she called out, "What?"

A tiny voice came back. "Keef! Bwekfast time! Come eat!" Mera. Keith turned off the game and walked to the door. On the other end was a toddler that looked like way to much like her parents. Dark skin like her mother, dark eyes like her dad, tiny pink Altean marks on her cheeks, and long black hair that poofed at the ends, a perfect mix of Shiro and Allura.

Keith smiled and extended her hand to the child. "Alright Mera, lead the way." The toddler took her hand and lead them both to the dining hall where everyone was waiting.

"Well it's about time!" Pidge exclaimed as Keith and Mera entered the room.

"Keith you almost missed breakfast." Hunk said as he set a plate down in front of Keith. "You can't start missing breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day. Now it up!"

"Sorry Hunk." Keith apologized. "I was playing that video game of Lances and lost track of time I guess."

"Ooh, what level are you one?" Pidge asked as she shoved a forkful of food into her mouth. "I'm on level 40, Matt's on 43 and Lance is on 36."

"I got to level 50 right before Mera came and got me." Pidge dropped her fork and swallowed her food.

"No way!" She slammed her hands down on the table as she stood up cause Mera to yelp. "Sorry Mera. What do you mean level 50? You couldn't have gotten that far in one morning. Even Mat and I haven't been able to get that far yet and we play it all the time."

Keith swallowed the food she was chewing. She had no idea the game was that hard. Now she felt weird that she'd beat their scores. She'd assumed they had beat the game several times and just restarted. "Guess I'm just lucky." Or maybe it was that she'd watched Lance play it so much that she unknowingly memorized how to beat the levels? Who knows. But if Pidge was reacting this way about it she couldn't wait to see how Lance would react. Lance. He'd better come home soon. Keith thought as she finished her meal.

"Matt is gonna flip when he finds out. Oh man I can't wait to tell him. I bet he cries." The evil grin on Pidge's face sent shivers down Keith back. Did all siblings enjoy making the other cry like that? If so then Keith sure was glade she had none.

"Mommy I'm done. Can I play paladin with Keef?" Mera asked as Allura wiped food remnants from the child's face.

"Only if Keith wants to." Allura looked at Keith and Keith nodded.

"Of course I'll play with you, Mera." The toddler squealed with delight as she slid out of her seat and ran to Keith. The child grabbed Keiths hand yet again and pulled her out of her seat and down the hall to her playroom.

As soon as they entered the large room Mera made a beeline to a stuffed lion that resembled the black lion of Voltron. As she picked it up she pointed to a smaller red lion plush. "You can be the red paladin, okay? Okay." She couldn't help but smile as she picked up the small red lion. Who would have guessed that Keith would be once again be the red paladin after almost six years. She hugged the small lion to her chest thinking about the current red pilot. Come home soon. I need you. "Keef?" She looked down at the child before her. "Do you miss Tio too?"

Tio is what Mera sometimes calls Lance. He said it's Spanish for uncle and he'd been trying to get her to call him that for awhile but she only calls him that when he isn't around.

"Yeah, I miss him a lot." Keith admitted.

"Are you and Lance gonna get married like mommy and daddy?" Keith chocked on her breath at that. Why would she ask something like that?

"N-No," Keith said. "We're not getting married. Sorry kid."

The girl frowned at the ground before turning around and yelling, "Paladins to your lions! The ooniverse need you!" Keith sighed and started playing with the child. Oh how she wished Matt or Lance was here. They were the ones that normally occupied the kids time. Keith had no idea what she was doing but obviously she was doing something right since Mera never complained.

It was like this for the rest of the week. Keith would stay up all night play video games, training, or reading. During the day she would play with Mera or the paladins would receive a distress call and help them out. It wasn't until Saturday. Was it Saturday? Keith couldn't be sure anymore after five years in space you tend to lose track of time like that. Anyway, let's say it was Saturday. So Saturday around noonish, Lance finally called. Thanks to Pidge and Hunk they all now had personal devices for talking to each other, much like in the lions but now in their rooms so they can talk privately if need be. And Keith was thankful for that. There were some very nosy people on the castleship. All of them to be exact.

"Hey, Keith. How ya doing buddy?" Lance asked through the hologram screen. "Can you hear me? Keith?"

"Yeah I can hear you but I can't see you." Keith said as she tried to adjust the picture. "Lance?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. Interference. You can hear me though right?"

"Yeah, I can hear you." Keith pulled her knees up to her chest. She'd almost fallen asleep until her comm notified her of a call.

"Why is it so dark?" Lance asked. " Where are you? I can see you by the way. Must be a one way interference thing. Weird."

"I'm in bed. Want me to turn on the light?" Keith asked.

"No need. I can see you just fine. The light from the screen is illuminating your face like an angel." Keith felt her cheeks warm up. Stupid Lance saying dumb things. "Anyway," He said. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. The people on this planet really like me for some reason and wouldn't give me any free time." He laughed and Keith smiled as crossed her arms over her knees and laid her head on them. She really missed that laugh of his. It'd only been a week but it felt far longer then that to her. "We're leaving tomorrow and it's supposed to be a two week trip to and from the planet we're going to. I still can't pronounce it either. Anyway, with Red it should only be a week both to and from. So I'll be home in two weeks. Give or take."

"Two weeks is too long. Especially without communication. What if something happens?" Two more weeks without Lance? No way. One week was hard enough.

"It'll be fine. It's basically just a delivery job." Keith heard Lance exhale over the comm. "Are you alright? You sleeping okay?" Keith sat up straight. Lance knew. Of course he knew. He was the first one to find out when Keith started having the nightmare.

"I'm fine." She lied.

"Don't lie to me mullet." Still with the mullet. Keith's hair had grown out since it was that length. Though it still might look like a mullet. She frowned at the thought. "Keith," Lance spoke softly. "Ever since that day you've been plagued by nightmares. They stopped being as frequent when you moved into my room with me but they still happen sometimes." That was true. When the nightmares started and Keith would wake up screaming Lance, having been next door, would wake up and come running in to check on Keith. After a week of this same routine Lance decided to move Keith into his room so that when she'd wake up screaming he'd be right there. Turns out Lance being next to her was exactly what she needed. The nightmares came less frequently until they rarely happened. But with Lance gone now the nightmares were back. And he knew it too.

"I'm fine, Lance. They're not that bad. I can handle it." Another lie.

"I can see the bags under your eyes." Keith hadn't realized that. Great. Now everyone would know she was losing sleep again. "Also," Lance said. "Pidge told me you were awake way earlier than you normally are." That snitch. Of course she'd rat Keith out. "Please try to get some rest, babe."

"I wish I could. But every time I fall asleep I have I have a nightmare and I wake up."

"I'm sorry I can't be there for you. Please, just, don't stay up all night avoiding sleep. Maybe Hunk has something that will help relax you so you can sleep peacefully. You know he's been experimenting with tea a lot lately. And he's not too bad at it either."

"I'll do that. Just, hurry home okay? And be safe."

"Always am. Love you, babe."

"Love you too." And with that Lance was gone. Keith took a deep breath then got up to find Hunk. Maybe he did have something to help. Keith would try it tonight and if it didn't help she would go back to the original plan. Can't have any nightmares if you don't sleep. At least, that's what Keith thought.


End file.
